I have had anxiety and depression for many years, it has only got worse since I’ve got married in February, I’ve also started to have more:
(a) Bad dreams (b) anger uncontrollable (c) suicidal (d) scratches on body (sometimes) (e) hating my marriage with the man I have had love marriage with (suppose to be happy), as I’m continuously fighting, and wishing things to end.

I want to know what is the cause of all this and why this is happening to me, I need help because I’m really suffering.
Please help me/guide me, even praying to Allah listening to Surahs based on anxiety and depression isn’t helping me, like nothing is helping. Please help me.

Answer:

Wa alaikum assalam. Bismillahir Rahmanir raheem,

Sorry to hear that you have had anxiety and depression for many years. We pray to Allah that He gives you shifa from this, ameen.

In correlation to your anxiety and depression you are going through some difficulties like: bad dreams, anger uncontrollable, suicidal, scratches on body (sometimes) and hating your marriage etc.   

We give you some brief advice in accordance to the Islamic Shariah. If you act by these short guidance in sha Allah, Allah may give you the protection from all the sufferings you are going through.

1. Regarding bad dreams and what to do:

Narrated by Abu Qatada r.a:  The Prophet s.a.w said, “A good dream that coms true is from Allah, and a bad dream is from Shaytan, so if anyone of you sees a bad dream, he should seek refuge with Allah from Satan and should spit on the left, for the bad dream will not harm him.” [1]

2. Uncontrollable anger:

A. Seeking refuge with Allah from the Shaytan

The Prophet s.a.w said: “if a man gets angry and says, ‘I seek refuge with Allah,’ his anger will go away.” [2]

B. Keeping silent

The Prophet s.a.w said, “If any of you becomes angry, let him keep silent.” [3]

When a person becomes angry, he may utter words of Kufr/disbeleif or curses or may slander which may destroy many things and even would bring enmity and hatred between fellows. This is due to a person loses self control sometimes. Therefore, keeping silent can prevent from all these and it’s a solution to the above.

3. Making movements

If you are angry while standing, sit down and vice-versa. If the anger still does not go away, lie down. Move away from the source of anger, think positive of your relationship with your husband. Make wodhu if the anger is still there.  [4]

4. Remember the promise of Allah

The Prophet s.a.w said: “whoever controls his anger when he has the means to act upon it, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the day of judgement” [5]

5. Remember the Sunnah

Prophet s.a.w only got angry solely for the sake of Allah. The Prophet s.a.w said: the strong man is not the one who can overpower others (in wrestling); rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he gets angry. [6]

Allah swt also mentioned many of the characteristics of a believer, here are two of them below: “spend (in the Allah’s cause) in prosperity and in adversity, [they] repress anger, and [they] pardon men; verily Allah loves al-muhsinoon (the good doers)” [7] and also in another place “… when they are angry, they forgive.” [8]

6. Understand what makes you angry

Knowing what makes you angry will help you to reduce your anger eg, may be someone surrounding you are annoying to you which makes you angry. Try to kindly speak to them if it’s possible. Shouting or scolding at each other would not do any good. The cure to anger is avoiding its causes.

7. Remember the effects of anger

The anger can lead to many disastrous things, in short, like breaking up the family ties (between husband and wife) and eventually can lead to divorce. Damage to one’s own self and to others. Also in some instances anger could lead to physical attacks, such as wounding. Angry person can turn all his/her anger in one selves, may end up tearing cloths, striking his/her cheeks, making scratches on the body or fall unconscious, may break dishes plates, break furniture etc.

In addition, one may think out of anger that his/her life is not worth so it can lead to think of to take suicidal approach which again is dangerous thinking. In this situation you should think of your life that is much precious and loftier in the sight of Allah as a human being (especially as a Muslim). Think of all the contentment and blessings that Allah has given to you. Life is a gift from Allah swt, it only belongs Allah swt. You cannot end your life simply because of small and minor things. By ending the life is not the permanent solution rather you are incurring wrath of Allah swt in the hereafter therefore, these sort of thinking should not dwell in your heart. Try and avert your mind and thinking from this. Do istigfar all the time, in sha Allah this should disappear slowly from your psychology.

In regards to your spouse/marriage you should think of positive things. Minor shortfall do come away throughout the marriage but this should not prevent you from having good relationship between husband and wife. You need to overcome them by looking at the good sides of your spouse. Every individual has good and bad sides though we have to live by these differences particularly throughout the marriage relationship.          

8. Listening to reminders

Remember that Allah and his messenger s.a.w gave lots of warnings as well as sincere advice to control your anger which is one of the characteristics of a believer (as mentioned above).

9. Make dua

Du’a is the best possible means of asking Allah to protect him/her from all evil, trouble and bad behaviour and seek refuge with him from wrongdoing and kufr (disbelief) becaus of anger. You may make dua’a with your own language that comes from your heart.

Hope these few short steps (not confined to the above) that may help you (by the will of Allah) to control your anger as well as experiencing any bad dreams and protect you from other bad influences that may cause harm in your relationship. Ameen.

For deep analysis you may search for good articles online in this regard which may answer most of your quests. Hope the best for you.

References:

[1] Sahih Al-Bukhari: 6986  [2] Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 695 [3] Ahmed, vol-1, p-339] Also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027 [4] Ahmed, vol-5, p-152] Also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 694 [5] Tabrani [6] Ahmed, vol-2/236  [7] Surah Ale-Imran 3:134 [8] Surah Al-Shoora 42:37    

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Answer: Yes, the deceased person will be informed by the angels by the decree of Allah s.w.t that your relative has done this virtuous deed, did sadaqah for you etc. And in lieu of these good deeds Allah s.w.t gives mountain amount of blessings towards the dead person.

Reference: [1] Al-Bayhaqi fee shuabil Iman under authority of Mishkat Al-Masabih p-206 Hadith:2246

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Answer: As per your question, your relative did not get cured rather he died thus, the condition for fulfilling this vow did not meet. Therefore, it is not obligatory to fulfil this vow. However, it is entirely up to you to make a sadaqah as isal-e sawab (convey the sawab) for the deceased by giving to poor, orphans or really needy ones.

References: [1] Fatwa Shami vol-3, p-735

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Answer: Two of the ahadith mentioned below will hopefully fulfil your quest:

(1) Narrated ‘Abdullah bin Zaid Al-Mazini r.a:
Allah’s Apostle said, “Between my house and the pulpit there is a garden of the gardens of Paradise.” References: [1] Bukhari:1195 [2] Muatta Malik:472/473 [3] Baihaqi vol-5, p-247

(2) Narrated Abu Huraira r.a: The Prophet said, “Between my house and my pulpit there is a garden of the gardens of Paradise, and my pulpit is on my fountain tank (i.e. Al-Kauthar).”
References: [1] Bukhari:1196 [2] Muslim:1391

NOTE: The first hadith mentioned from sahih al-Bukhari is exactly written in one of the gate before entering the place “Riyad al Jannah” and straight on to the Rawdhah of Rasulullah s.a.w. in Masjid al-Nabawi.

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Answer:  After analysing many books of ahadith in regards to the above issue, we find the following from some of the Sunan books of ahadith which is below:

Narrated ‘Aws ibn Aws r.a: “The Prophet (pbuh) said: Among the most excellent of your days is Friday; on it Adam was created, on it he died, on it the last trumpet will be blown, and on it the shout will be made, so invoke more blessings on me that day, for your blessings will be submitted to me. The people asked: Messenger of Allah, how can it be that our blessings will be submitted to you while your body is decayed? He replied: Allah, the Exalted, has prohibited the earth from consuming the bodies of Prophets.

References: [1] Sunan an Nasai:1374 (Sahih) by Albany r.a) [2] Sunan Abi Dawud:1047 [3] Sunan Ibn Majah:1085 also 1636

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Answer: Drinking Urine of camel for any medical reason is permissible and not for any other reason.  According to Imam Abu Hanifa r.a and Imam Shafi’e r.a all animal’s urine are naajis (impure) despite animals being halal or not. Prophet s.a.w gave permission to the tribe Uraina only for medical treatment. Therefore, it can be concluded that it is only permissible to consume the urine of the camel for purposes of medicine and not to be consumed generally.

References: [1] Bukhari-233. [2] Muslim-1671

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Answer: If the artificial hair is a human hair or hair of pig then its impermissible. Hence it has been given dire warning in the hadith of Rasulullah s.a.w said that the one who puts on hair and the one who puts it for others has been cursed. Using any other hair apart from above mentioned, artificial hair is fine. If this practice is only to beautify oneself other than deceiving others should be ok.

References: [1] Radd al Muhtar vol-6:372 [2] Bazlul Majhud vol-17:58 [3] Bukhari-5933 [4] Musannaf Ibn Abi Shaibah-25743

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Question:  What are the three occasions that Allah s.w.a revealed verses according to the wish of Umar r.a?

Answer:  Here are the three occasions where Allah s.w.a revealed according to the wishes of Umar r.a in the ahadith below:

Narrated ‘Umar (bin Al-Khattab r.a): My Lord agreed with me in three things:

1 I said,”O Allah’s Apostle, I wish we took the station (maqam Ibrahim) of Abraham as our praying place (for some of our prayers). So came the Divine Inspiration: And take you (people) the station of Abraham as a place of prayer (for some of your prayers e.g. two Rakat of Tawaf of Ka’ba)”. (2:125)

2 And as regards the (verse of) the veiling of the women, I said, ‘O Allah’s Apostle! I wish you ordered your wives to cover themselves from the men because good and bad ones talk to them.’ So the verse of the veiling of the women was revealed.

3 Once the wives of the Prophet made a united front against the Prophet and I said to them, ‘It may be if he (the Prophet) divorced you, (all) that his Lord (Allah) will give him instead of you wives better than you.’ So this verse (the same as I had said) was revealed.” (66.5).

References: [1] Bukhari: 402/4483 [2] Muslim:147 [3] Tirmizi:2959 [4] Ibn Majah:1009 [5] Ahmad vol-1:23 [6] Ibn Hibban:6896

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Answer:  Indeed we see this has became a trend of fashion to pluck eyebrows as well as tattooing or piercing in any part of the body specially in western society.

These kind of works are not allowed in Shariah as these constitutes to the alteration of Allah’s creation.

It is one of the biggest deception of Shaytan in the name of fashion and trend to alter the creation which only deserves by the almighty Allah s.w.t.

Hence it has been strongly condemned in the Qur’an and ahadith, the following evidence will clarify in sha Allah:

Narrated Alqama r.a:

‘Abdullah (bin Masud) r.a  said. “Allah curses those ladies who practice tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those ladies who remove the hair from their faces and those who make artificial spaces between their teeth in order to look more beautiful whereby they change Allah’s creation.”

His saying reached a lady from BaniAsd called Um Yaqub who came (to Abdullah) and said, “I have come to know that you have cursed such-and-such (ladies)?

“He replied, “Why should I not curse these whom Allah’s Apostle has cursed and who are (cursed) in Allah’s Book!” Um Yaqub said, “I have read the whole Quran, but I did not find in it what you say.

“He said, “Verily, if you have read it (i.e. the Quran), you have found it. Didn’t you read:

ْوَمَا آتَاكُمُ الرَّسُولُ فَخُذُوهُ وَمَا نَهَاكُمْ عَنْهُ فَانتَهُواوَاتَّقُوااللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ شَدِيدُ الْعِقَابِ [1]

‘And whatever the Apostle gives you, accept it, and from whatever he forbids you, keep back, and be careful of (your duty to) Allah; surely Allah is severe in reattributing (evil):’

She replied, “Yes, I did,” He said, “Verily, Allah’s Apostle forbade such things.” “She said, “But I see your wife doing these things?” He said, “Go and watch her.

“She went and watched her but could not see anything in support of her statement. On that he said, “If my wife was as you thought, I would not keep her in my company.” [2]

The alteration of the creation has been also mentioned in the Holy Qur’an:

وَلَأُضِلَّنَّهُمْ وَلَأُمَنِّيَنَّهُمْ وَلَآمُرَنَّهُمْ فَلَيُبَتِّكُنَّ آذَانَ الْأَنْعَامِ وَلَآمُرَنَّهُمْ فَلَيُغَيِّرُنَّ خَلْقَ اللَّهِ وَمَن يَتَّخِذِ الشَّيْطَانَ وَلِيًّا مِّندُونِ اللَّهِ فَقَدْ خَسِرَخُسْرَانًا مُّبِينًا [3]

And most certainly I will lead them astray and excite in them vain desires, and bid them so that they shall slit the ears of the cattle, and most certainly I will bid them so that they shall alter Allah’s creation; and whoever takes the Shaitan for a guardian rather than Allah he indeed shall suffer a manifest loss.

References: [1] (a) Surah al-Hashr V:7 (b) Tafseer Ibn Kathir vol-4, p-496 [2] (a) Bukhari:4886 (b) Muslim:2125 [3] Surah Al-Nisa, V:119 [4] (a) Bukhari:7288 (b) Muslim:1337 [5] Ahmed vol-1, p-433

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Answer:  Allah and his messenger s.a.w has mentioned many virtues for the righteous jurist who strives best to achieve justice.

Allah s.w.t says: “O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it
be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy
of both. So follow not [personal] inclination, lest you not be just. And if you distort [your
testimony] or refuse [to give it], then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted” (Surah Al-Maida
4:135)

Also the Prophet s.a.w narrated in the following Hadith:

Narrated ‘Amr bin Al-‘As r.a: “That he heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “If a judge gives a verdict according to the best of his knowledge and his verdict is correct (i.e. agrees with Allah and His Apostle’s verdict) he will receive a double reward, and if he gives a verdict according to the best of his knowledge and his verdict is wrong, (i.e. against that of Allah and His Apostle) even then he will get a reward .”

Reference: [1] Sahih al-Bukhari:7352

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